The Return of Sherlock Holmes
by lemurfreedairyproduce
Summary: Sherlock is back and he has a secret to tell John.


John sat in his chair scanning the newspaper. None of the words would sink in. "John, dear?"Mrs. Hudson shouted up. "Would you like a cuppa?"

"No thank-you." John flicked to the next page.

"Oh, love. You can't just sit around here all day. Why don't you go to one of your classes? They seemed to cheer you up after Sherlock died." She patted him on the shoulder. "Come on, I'll call you a cab."

"No thanks Mrs. Hudson. The class was cancelled today." He violently flicked another page of the newspaper.

"Cancelled? Ooh, whatever for?"

"Said there's been a break-in."

"That's the 4th break-in on Baker Street this month!" She flapped her hands. "Why don't you call Lestrade and ask him to investigate, 'eh? Like the old times." John was ignoring her. "Oh, come on! You love a good murder!"

"No, Sherlock loves a good murder. I was just his assistant." John flicked the newspaper again. "Besides, we're talking about breaks-ins. Completely different kettle of fish."

"Very well. I'll leave you to it." She tottered out of the room.

The rest of the day had a slow kind of pace to it. John read his newspaper and put the telly on. Without his classes life seemed, once again, pointless. He sighed as the weather came on. By this time of day it was dark out, John could only see the faint traces of yellow streetlight through the new net curtains that Mrs. Hudson decided to hang up. John picked up his laptop and started typing "lol cats" into the google search engine.

221B

Sherlock strode down Baker Street leaving his coat to trail behind him like some kind of super villain. His eyes captured the look of an escaped mental patient perfectly. He was determined. His body was ready.

Walking up to 221B had been something Sherlock had wanted to do for months now. To see Mrs. Hudson and John again. Sherlock was so gay for John. And to eventually go on and solve murders again with Lestrade. Ah, the good old days. He pushed the door open, it was unlocked like he'd previously arranged with the burglar. (which was one of the homeless network)

"Hello?" Damn John's army ears. Sherlock heard the metallic crunch of John's gun.

"It's alright." I forgot to mention Sherlock was a little bit drunk.

"Sherlock?"

"Stay there." He fell into the wall.

"Why?"

"Just stay there."

"Okay." John's compliance was a sign that he'd not given up on Sherlock. It also showed that John was gay for Sherlock which was good because Sherlock was gay for John.

"I'm not dead." Sherlock said at once standing in the doorway. Coat pulled up to his chin.

"I can see that, Sherlock." John rolled his eyes.

"Please." He used his hand to steady himself.

"What?"

"Since being away I... re-discovered myself."

"You re-discovered yourself?" John laughed. "What did you buy a Paul McCenna book or something?"

"I found my true calling."

"Can't this wait? I want to know what happened."

"No, this can't wait." Sherlock fumbled with his gloves. "I changed my name." He put the gloves down and turned dramatically to John. "Call me... Sher-dizzle."

"Sher-dizzle?" John had to think for a moment before it sunk in. "You... You're the street dance artist." John was standing up because he was in shock.

"Yes." Sher-dizzle looked down to the floor. "Do you still want me to live here?"

"When did I say I wanted you to live here?"

"Do you except my street dancing, John?" Sherlock's eyes were wide with yearning. A yearning to teach John how to dance.

"Of course I do." John smiled. "Wait... Are you the reason my class was cancelled?"

"Your class?" Sher-dizzle was pretending he didn't know when he did.

"Street dance class, Sher-dizzle!" John was a little bit angry but not too much.

"Yes I am affraid."

"I have a confession"

"Go on"

"I am 2k12"

"No."

"Yes."

"What"

"I am a street dance master. Specialising in dubsteb."

"Show me." Sherlock sat down in his chair and waited for John to dance.

"Put 'Bangarang' on." John pointed to his laptop which was now on the coffee table because John had put it there. Sherlock put 'Bangarang' on and then John broke into a detailed, emotional interpretive dance-style jig. This made Sher-dizzle even gayer for John. After the song John was a little bit tired but he was happy because Sher-dizzle was impressed. Suddenly a loud noise went bang and then Moriarty walked through the door.

"Sher-dizzle. 2k12."

"Mori-heart-ay!" Sher-dizzle gasped.

"I think I'll challenge you to a dance-off. If I win then you both die" He was being all crazy. "If I loose you can be named the best and I will have my clients go around parks with Sharpie pens and replicate your tag which I will get someone to design for you."

"Deal."

"Sher-dizzle! It's dangerous!"

"No, we can beat this poser."

"What did you call me?"

"I called you a poser."

"Bring it on then you pair of sissys" They began to engage in battle to the sound of Basshunter "Now you're gone". Mori-heart-ay! was doing a furious sort of waddle and also kicking his legs out. John was trying to replicate the steps he had just performed and Sher-dizzle. Sher-dizzle was using the techniques of an ancient mating panda in his dance which was cheating but he didn't care that much to be honest. He was waving his arms around like an plane whilst hopping on one leg. John found this very sexual and then the fight was over and Sher-dizzle and John won. Mori-heart-ay! left in shame.

"John I am so gay for you."

"I am so gay for you, too."

"Let's solve crimes and dance together forever."

"Okay." Sher-dizzle went to kiss John.

"DOn't kiss me, boys are gross."

"Okay"

**the end.**

it's 6 am why the fuck not


End file.
